Don't We Keep Coming Back?
We are all chasing our dreams, or maybe are on the journey of finding them. Although not necessary, it does require moving out of our comfort zones. Sometimes, this could mean changing the primary basis of our identity - our home. The truth is, this could happen at any point of life - school, college, or work.
Change is probably something that disrupts most of our routines, flow of thought or even our behaviour in some scenarios. Let's say one starts using a different pen than usual or takes a seat different from their so-called 'spot'. Now, this wouldn't necessarily be something that increases your anxiety level. For some, it does, and it feels like their productivity compromised. A fear might even begin to creep in that something bad might happen to them that day. Moving away from one's home or hometown - the place where they made their most cherished memories and spent good moments with their loved ones - is more or less like a domino effect in this regard for many people. This is because when most of us crave stability in all spheres, this shift is a tricky one to tackle. To be honest, it can feel like the whole world around you is falling apart.
When one spends many sleepless nights on whether to take this decision or not, or even after one takes it, the realisation that this is a make or break situations sets in at some point or another. For example, it wouldn't be wrong to admit that many tasks that we consider to be 'trivial' can start eating time off our schedule. This could be washing one's own clothes or trying to be an experimental chef turned miracle worker, whipping up dishes in a jiffy with just a handful of ingredients and little to no equipment. We end up bumping into memories of home from something as simple as a cup of tea , a whiff of curry from someone's tiffin, or maybe just the drizzling raindrops that you see from your window. All these occasional happenings are often very intimidating at first.
Nevertheless, let's make an effort here to see the brighter side of all the changes we undergo in our lifestyle. On this journey, we end up learning what we are capable of and discovering the undiscovered realms within ourselves. Being responsible for ourselves and our decisions (to a certain extent) sheds a lot of light on the potential we possess. Above all, the change brings a lot of independence into our lives, which helps us be more creative and adventurous. Even so, at the end of the day, it is on us to channel this energy in order to influence our long term goals for the better.
Long story short, this is probably just one of the bumpy rides you will take in your life, where you meet new people, forge lifelong bonds with some and end up breaking away from others, learn new lessons and forgo some others. Ultimately, it is YOUR journey. The circumstances around you might have changed. Still, I believe that there will be a part of that abode or people you call 'home' deep in your soul, and also a part of you which identifies with what Benjamin Button said in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "It's a funny about coming home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realise what's changed is you."
The shining beams in the night sky are no longer
the stars that my mom pointed out when I was little;
It's the trail of that bird that I long to hop on soon,
that engineering marvel which takes me back now, at least in dreams.
Maybe I am getting used to finding meaning in this noise,
or adjusting to the surprises that the weather presents everyday.
Now, maybe, the brick and mortar of my blood, sweat and tears
might create that heavenly place right here,
but then, would I ever really be here?
Because I just keep coming back,
never really knowing if I miss that abode,
the lives in it or just the breeze that swayed back there.
Or maybe not,
'cause, people and problems are really just the same.
They may look different from the outside,
but all they want is,
me understanding them, their purpose
and that I can do,
wherever I am as long as I am myself:
not trying to be you or anyone else,
just me, as I am
or maybe a better ME that I try to be everyday.